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Joke of the Day

"Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW"

"Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night."

"Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"(Nsfw)What must a vampire ask before he has sex? Is it alright if I cum inside?"

"What's the best part about living in a black family? You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost"

"I think I've discovered my supersymmetric partner."

"Why did the boat know it had a leak? That sinking feeling..."

"[god creating an pigeon] what if i gave this piece of shit wings"