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Joke of the Day

"What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? Paddy O'Furniture! (Happy St. Patrick's Day)"

"So a conservative was browsing r/news Haha that's a good one."

"""Your under arrest!"" No, YOU'RE under arrest *police looks around points to himself & mouths 'me'* Yeah you. *he tosses me cop car keys*"

"A really hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years time. I mean, come on guys, I don't have 20/20 vision."

"i took a STD test today Turns out i pass with hepatitis A, i know what you're thinking and no i didn't cheat off the asian girl."

"bae is acting so cute and imaginary tonight"

"What do Child predators use to get dry skin off of their feet? A Pedofile"

"My ex still misses me... Yesterday I narrowly dodged a .22 round discharged at long range."

"Apparently, somebody gets stabbed in London every 52 minutes. Poor bastard."

"What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman? To the bat cave!"