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Joke of the Day

"Regarding today's semi-final: What is the difference between Brazil and a brassiere? One is full of boobs, while the other is a piece of clothing."

"There's 3 types of people in this world People who can count and people who can't count"

"Sometimes I think about how infinite the universe is... and realize that somewhere out there, there's a galaxy shaped like a dick."

"Why did the tin man go to hell? Because he's a sinner."

"Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid."

"Stealing my little brother's (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and is pissed. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree...? A Porky-Pine"

"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"

"My sister says I don't understand irony... ....which is funny because we were standing at a bus stop at the time."

"Only sometimes do I use semicolons in my writing; I don't want to sound like a *complete* asshole. edit: grammar. Thanks, /u/jwfiredragon"

"Cows are vegetarians too, but you won't hear them bragging about it on Twitter."