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Joke of the Day

"Doggy style My wife and I haf sex doggy style last night...She rolled over and played dead, and I sat there and begged for it."

"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Huh? The light's out?"

"I bet the hardest thing about being a gangsta rapper is never being able to really enjoy a scone in public."

"I wish I could replace my central nervous system with a central confidence system."

"[answers phone in crowded elevator] give me some good news...HOW contagious?"

"Confucius Say . . . Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Stabbing a man with a spoon is pointless."

"Why did your sister keep running around her bed ? Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep."

"How many cops does it take to push a hooker down the stairs? None, ""she fell""."

"What does a carpenter do after one night stand? A matching one for the other side of the bed."

"How does a handwriting analyst determine how his lover is feeling? He looks into his lover's 'I's."