194906

Joke of the Day

"""Still upset about earlier?"" Yeah ""So you knocked over a few spaghetti boxes at the store. No big deal"" I WAS A WORLD JENGA CHAMPION, SALLY"

"[me narrating a documentary about the pyramids] I really want a Toblerone for some reason."

"Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high."

"I thought it was sweet that the Democratic debate maintained a Paris related theme... The whole debate was Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley Eiffel Towering Hillary Clinton."

"What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common? Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead."

"When you add the same thing to both sides of an equation, it remains true. Therefore, since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then 'progress' is the opposite of 'Congress'."

"What happens when you put the batteries in backwards in an Energizer Bunny? It keeps cumming and cumming and cumming...."

"Scientists just discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... it's called 'wedding cake'"

"Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body? Dumbbelldor."

"Life filled with asp, php, HTML, SEO, Digital Marketing, Drip, PPC, SEM and much much more"