194857
Joke of the Day
"So, I've recently started a whiskey diet... I've lost three days already."
Next Joke
"A man walks into a gay bar and says... ""Whose dick do I have to suck to suck a dick around here?"" Heard it on Game Grumps."
"My wife's cooking is so bad.... My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food."
"""A gripping tale of love and survival..."" is how one reviewer described me tumbling down the stairs while trying to retrieve a stray M&M."
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastards."
"Three men walk into a bar They all get concussion"
"What's the difference between the Earth and my sock? The Earth's crust is on the outside."
"I went to vegetarian restaurant the other day... I falafel afterwards."
"Husband sat in his room throwing darts.... at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the target. From another room the wife asks the husband : ""What are you doing?"" . Husband: ""MISSING YOU""."
"[phone sex] GF: Tell me you want me ME: I want you badly GF: How badly? ME: I want you [checking thesaurus in a panic] haphazardly"