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Joke of the Day

"""A gripping tale of love and survival..."" is how one reviewer described me tumbling down the stairs while trying to retrieve a stray M&M."

"What's the difference between the Holocaust and this joke? The Holocaust was funny."

"What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sandwich."

"What s the difference between an ostridge ? it can neither fly"

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"

"What do you call a dog with a 7 inch boner? Your sex life."

"My girlfriend said she was cutting off sex for a while. I told her that is fine, we will just have more rape."

"The Walking Dead or the Grammys. Do you watch the bloodthirsty monsters ready to eat each other to survive or do you go with Walking Dead?"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?"

"For 30 minutes after my first cup if coffee I love everybody. If I could bottle that feeling we could fix the world."