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Joke of the Day

"If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you"

"Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years? A: Somebody dropped a shekel."

"What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping? Landscaping is an outside job."

"What do you call a Mexican garden hose in Canada? Joseh"

"One day I hope to be rich enough where I don't feel compelled to refill my fountain soda before I leave a fast food establishment."

"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."

"How do you make holy water? Fill a container and boil the hell out of it"

"Italy in the 2014 FIFA world cup What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag? Ones in a cup"

"Looking for Sympathy? You'll find it between Shit and Syphilis in the dictionary."

"The war on Christmas? Yeah, I started it. But in my defense, maybe Santa warns a person before his home invasion and I don't take him out."