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Joke of the Day

"Can anyone help me. I don't know where to park my boat and all the other captains are making fun of me. im under alot of pier pressure!"

"Pregnant Eskimo What did the eskimo say when her water broke? Oh no, my ice cracked!"

"He told me he wanted a dirty girl so I didn't shower for two weeks. Now he won't return my calls. Forget women, MEN and their mixed signals!"

"Did you hear about that car company having to shut down? It was a saab story."

"I got 45 pages into writing my autobiography before I realized I was just typing the lyrics to Smash Mouth's ""All Star"" over and over again."

"ME: What an emotional roller coaster ROLLER COASTER: [calling out to me as I exit the park] Why are you leaving??!! Is it something I said?"

"An Indian diabetic wasn't following his diet... You could say that he was naan-compliant."

"She can argue for 4 hours straight... but ten minutes into a blowjob and her jaw hurts."

"Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?"

"Why are jalapenos so annoying? Because they get jalapeno business."