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Joke of the Day

"A starfish has five arms. An anablep has four eyes. An octopus has three hearts. And you've got two faces."

"At a business meeting: ""How about SuperCupid?"" ""No, expectations will be too high"" ""GreatCupid?"" ""Lower"" ""Uhhh, OKCupid?"" ""Brilliant"""

"What do you call a furiously masturbating dinosaur? A Velocifapper."

"How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes at least three light bulbs."

"Apparently certain types of ink can cause cancer I'm starting to get a bit worried, I've been smoking cigarettes wrapped in that stuff for a while now."

"Bisexual girls are like spaghetti. Straight until wet."

"I'm raising my child to believe there were only 3 'Star Wars' movies."

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint :)"

"How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet."

"What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic? He charges you double."