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Joke of the Day

"A starfish has five arms. An anablep has four eyes. An octopus has three hearts. And you've got two faces."

"Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven is a registered six offender."

"I heard today that Stevie Wonder was getting a divorce, so sad he didn't even see it coming."

"I'm Not Racist! Racism is a crime... ...and crime is for black people."

"What do you call it when a prayer is answered? A coincidence."

"I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues."

"I used to hate Vegemite, but I read that you only need to put a thin spread to enjoy it It's been much better. The cat is eating the whole thing now."

"I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps."

"I rented a prostitute for $60 an hour, I paid her 50 cents."