194615

Joke of the Day

"The older I get, the more I think I owe my parents an apology..."

"Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time."

"Did you read the article about corduroy pillowcases? ... They're making headlines."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute. The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again Edit-1 hopefully she/he washes it"

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions."

"Her: Describe your ideal date. Me: I'd order an extra large pizza. Her: Interesting. What would I be wearing? Me: Oh, you'd be there, too?"

"What do you call weed from Denmark? Dansk kush."

"What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot"

"Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip."

"I once went on a date with a girl called Simile... I don't know what I metaphor."