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Joke of the Day

"I once went on a date with a girl called Simile... I don't know what I metaphor."

"Are you a rollercoaster? *motions hands to be about a foot long* cuz im this tall to ride"

"Why was General Yoda afraid of April? Because March, April May."

"Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."

"Did you guys hear about the new death camps in North Korea? No you didn't. You haven't heard anything. Long Live the Democratic People's Republic of Korea."

"No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I'd go on a road trip with my mom."

"Seriously wondering how many times is it appropriate to say ""What?"" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?"

"What's green and comes out of your nose at 160mph? A lambo-greenie!"

"Why did the shell not go to the beach? Because he was self-CONCH-ious."

"A frendly reminder! ""You will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension."" Nikola Tesla"