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Joke of the Day

"If a midget smokes weed... does he get high, or medium?"

"A woman wants to buy a pair of spectacles. A woman walks into a shop and says,"" Doctor, I think I need a pair of spectacles! "" The shopkeeper replies,"" You certainly do ma'am! This is a grocery store."

"Cop: A ghost killed your family? Guy: Yes! Cop: Did u forward yesterday's spooky chain email to 5 ppl? Guy: No? Cop: Well there you go."

"Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is dead."

"Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better."

"So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him."

"What does a baker say before he orgasms? I'm going to crumb! ( )"

"""i'll be back"" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume"

"Marriage equality AND marijuana laws passed? Now we know what Leviticus really meant by ""A man who layeth with another man must be stoned."""

"*I* actually went through with a threesome. There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."