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Joke of the Day

"*I* actually went through with a threesome. There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

Next Joke
 
"What's cooler than being cool? Financial Stability *shoutout to /r/personalfinance*"
"2 plants are hanging out One says to the other, "" you hungry?"" To which the other replies, ""yes, I could go for a light snack."""
"What does someone have if they laugh at other people's eyes? Aqueous humour."
"Had a near death experience last night A cop pulled me over."
"I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like ""Ugh, tourists""."
"What is big hairy and can fly ? King Kongcorde !"
"I told my kids I'd rather they ""pull the plug"" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger."
"A little girl asks her grandad... ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."
"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."