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Joke of the Day

"Boss: ""You're not suppose to be drinking on the job!"" Me: ""You're not suppose to cheat on your wife."" Boss: ""Keep up the good work sir."""

"Pharmacist: Don't take this while driving and make sure you eat- *crushes pill and snorts off the counter* ""Ok"""

"What kind of bird works on a construction site? A Crane."

"So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, ""I do."" is not the correct answer."

"Two skeletons open up a pasta resteraunt to serve the afterlife. What's the resteraunt called? The Bone Zone."

"Do you think that a funeral director signs his letters with ' yours eventually'?"

"Going to the toy store, pressing the ""TRY ME"" button on a toy and the fucking thing wont stop...So you just try to get the fuck out of there like nothing happened."

"What do you call playing chess against yourself? Chessturbation."

"Always bring a rogue with you when you go to Thailand They're good at detecting traps"

"What do you call a stingy douchebag who likes plants? A prick"