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Joke of the Day

"Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you? Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged."

"How can you tell that microchips are made in the US and not the UK? Because if they were made in the UK they would be called microcrisps."

"Oh, you dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Cool. I'll have a number 1 and hold the lettuce please."

"I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian."

"I WAS LIKE AND HE WAS LIKE AND I WAS LIKE AND SHE WAS LIKE (The speech impediment of the 21st century)"

"Why don't OSHA inspectors watch porn? It's Not Safe For Work."

"When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, ""Sarah Connor?""."

"I have a dream that my son will one day live in a nation where he will not be judged by the size of his boat but by the motion of his ocean."

"An Australian travels to Houston for business, and sees who he suspects to be a famous football player. So he decides to ask him.... You Watt, mate?"

"I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it. Bonus joke: Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder."