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Joke of the Day
"I have a six figure salary.. $000,000 It's not much, but it's honest work"
Next Joke
"I'm leaving reddit"
"My girlfriend was getting kinky in bed, and she said, ""Hurt me! Hurt me!"" So I got in my car and ran over her cat."
"They say in a group of friends, there's always one person who's probably a psychopathic killer. There's no group now... I couldn't take that chance."
"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order."
"I wanted to buy some literature on DIY shelving Sounds easy, but try going into a book store and asking if they have ""any books on shelves"""
"""...but Neil Patrick Harris is ok."" (end of many homophobic statements)"
"I was absolutely disgusted when a gay guy came on to me at the bar. After kicking his ass out the door, I went for a towel to clean it off."
"Suicide book A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""
"As I exposed my glorious chest hairs & catapulted toward the Velcro wall, I realized that I had no exit strategy."