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Joke of the Day

"Girls always think I'm ugly until they see what's in my bank account Then they think I'm ugly AND poor"

"What kind of music do cows listen to? (dadjoke) MOOOOOsic."

"I really hate seeing old people fall over, it makes me feel so bad. Maybe I should stop tripping them over."

"""Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs."" - inventor of Whopper Candies."

"what do you call a small woman with no nipples? pointless."

"I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. He dig. She dig. Now it's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep."

"""Our toes look nothing like that!"" - Camels"

"Name That Tune My school had a ""Name that Tune"" activity for the staff, and they had sound trouble so there was silence. I shouted out ""John Cage!"" and no one laughed."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram."

"So a neutron walks into a bar... ...he goes up to the bartender and asks how much a drink is. The bartender replies saying: ""For you? No charge."""