194007
Joke of the Day
"Tried to eskimo kiss my girl last night... but she wasn't inuit."
Next Joke
"""Morning sickness"" should also be used to describe the hatred of waking up in the morning. ""Sorry I was rude. I had morning sickness."""
"I'm pretty sure this new iTunes update is gonna turn things around for me."
"What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric? ""Take us to your liter."""
"What did Jack Frost say at his climax? ""Winter is coming"""
"What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit? Falafel Raptors. (sorry)"
"Already resenting that I have to wake up tomorrow."
"COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real"
"Andy Murray's been detained by anti-corruption officials at the Davis Cup... Apparently he's been operating a racket for years."
"My friend came up to me He said, ""Can you ever remember a time where you removed a wig?"" I said, ""Not off the top of my head."""