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Joke of the Day
"I'm pretty sure this new iTunes update is gonna turn things around for me."
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"""Hot damn!"" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess."
"Things I hate 1. haters 2. r/jokes 3. lists"
"Legally your grocery store can't stop me from tapping on the canned goods and declaring which ones are ripe or not."
"Did you hear that David Copperfield has aids now? Yea, he was doing Magic."
"A network engineer goes to the doctor...... He told the doctor, ""It hurts when IP"""
"A Proton goes into a bar and orders a drink,when he asks how much the drink will cost the Bartender says ""That will be $3.50."""
"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"
"Why don't girls have beards? It's in their ""jeans"" ;)"
"Hi kids I'm Keanu Reeves here to tell you that speed is never cool unless you're a professional SWAT member on a bus that's about to blow up"