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Joke of the Day

"Behind every successful man is a woman. This game of hide and seek has been going on for too long..."

"What do Yoko Ono and African children have in common? They both survive on dead beatles (beetles)."

"All of my suspicions are sneaking around."

"What were those two people from VeggieTales? Oh yea, Barrackoli and Cucumberbatch."

"YOU: I murdered someone. YOUR DOG: I'm totally cool with that. I love you. ****************** YOU: I murdered someone. YOUR CAT: Me too."

"There are two kinds of people in the world Those that can extrapolate from missing information"

"""Bye, losers."" *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* ""Can you push the button for the lobby please."""

"You kick one baby and everyone's like ""That's not a football"" and ""He's not breathing, call 911."" Draaaaaama."

"What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo? A smokesalottapotamus Edit: [Found one in the wild.. ](http://i.imgur.com/c2Vt1sd.jpg)"

"Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!"