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Joke of the Day

"Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door.... but his girlfriend was dead against it. Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand"

"Q: What did the blonde's dentist find? A: Teeth in the cavity."

"The pollen is so bad this year in Phoenix... that tweekers are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed."

"Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt."

"[giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda"

"13: Dad, What's detour mean? Me: Get a dictionary and look up tampon."

"A man who calls himself ""Dog the Bounty Hunter"" is currently hunting down a man named ""War Machine"". We all live inside a comic book now."

"A blowjob will make your day But dry anal will make your hole weak."

"Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table."

"Marriage is like Comcast. Frustrating as hell and once a month you get screwed."