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Joke of the Day

"My wife passed away from an infected in-grown hair. I got a cyst and deceased letter."

"A penis lives a sad life.. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, neighbor is an asshole, best friend is a pussy and owner beats him."

"What's the hardest part when your ex tells you she is HIV positive Trying to act surprised."

"I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: ""You always run faster with a knife""."

"Honestly Officer, I do have a few ideas as to why I'd get pulled over, but I'm kind of afraid to tell you. Let's both say it on 1-2-3, ok?"

"[Insert Shitty Joke here] APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!"

"If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that's still a sports injury, right?"

"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there, Howard, Howard who? Howard you wanna suck these nuts. Also works with: Wendy you wanna suck these nuts Jorge come suck these nuts"

"My plan is simple. Drink Vodka until I start speaking Russian."

"20 blondes are standing outside a bar. On the other side of the street another blond is walking by; ""Hey, come over here. You have to be 21 to enter"""