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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why my dad talks on a phone. He's so loud all he has to do is open the window and they can hear him."

"What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI? My Grandma can unlock an iphone."

"Q: Why should you never run in front of a bus? A: You will get tired."

"I work in retail, a married man made me laugh Me: Hi sir, can I help you? Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!"

"I understand exponents To a degree"

"<a pigeon with a message lands on my arm> NEW ARM WHO DIS"

"What's Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album? The Wall. Huehuehue"

"You know all that talk about backseat driving? Well I've been driving all my life and can safely say that I've never heard a word from the back seat. What kind of car do you drive? A hearse!"

"A blonde walked into the dentist office... ...and sat down in a chair. The dentist said: ""Open Wide"" ""I can't"" - The blonde said. - ""This chair has arms"""

"""Hi yes I'd like to attempt the Cheeseburger challenge"" ""Very good sir"" [ripped as hell cheeseburger runs out of the kitchen & bodyslams me]"