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Joke of the Day

"You know what's addictive? Heroin"

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.."

"What is Grammar? The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit"

"Wheat derived protein is totally innocuous and not at all evil... ... Hail seitan!"

"What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do."

"I was watching the women's Golf earlier. They couldn't drive, but boy, can they use an iron."

"Joke Trade You post a joke, i will (hopefully) make a thread out of it with other jokes or at the very least post One response that is related. Lets trade!"

"What did the psychiatrist say to the patient that showed up wearing Saran Wrap and nothing else? I can clearly see your nuts!"