193765

Joke of the Day

"""Have u seen my cat?"" ""I saw a cat down the road?"" ""Really? [shows me a picture] was it this cat?"" ""No, the one I saw was dead."""

"How do cats park their cars? They *purr*allel park"

"What kind of train eats too much? a chew chew train"

"What is brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaf coffee you racist fuck."

"Just saw a bird walking down the side of the road & yelled out my window, ""YOU CAN FLY, YOU STUPID BIRD,"" because I am a mature adult."

"Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he have so many pictures of my parents fighting?"

"It's 6 am and I've already referred to a patient as ""the one with the tig ol biddies""...wonder what time HR gets here"

"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding. She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the Hell out of it."