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Joke of the Day

"Fact: 98% of Jeep owners are guys named Jake, who wear shorts in the winter, and work at Starbucks."

"If you meet a woman who says your name with the same passion she says pumpkin spice latte you should marry her immediately"

"What aspect of the game do women soccer players like most? Getting that good D"

"Why does Father Time wear bandages? Because day breaks and night falls."

"Me: I wish for a lightsaber. Genie: Be realistic. Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend. Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?"

"She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk."

"What did little Hitler get for his birthday? His Third Treich."

"Support the war on crack. Stop wearing low rise jeans."

"How come if you eat two cookies you gain 3 lbs. Then when you take a major dump, you don't lose anything?"

"what do you call an effeminate dwarf? A metro-gnome...."