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Joke of the Day

"Q: What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint? A: Both crews were marooned."

"Is anyone on Twitter named Sarah Connor? If so, where do you live? Nothing to worry about, just a simple survey for my neural net processor."

"Use the force luke I've run out of lubricant"

"2 Wind Turbines walk into a bar... The first says, ""What kind of music do you like?"" The second says, ""I'm a heavy metal fan."""

"What do you call an instrument that gets a president impeached? Harmonica Lewinsky."

"What's a rabbits' favourite car? Any make just as long it's a hutchback!"

"[interview for fireman] ""So why do you think you're a good fireman?"" I lit the building on fire ""What?"" Now watch as I try to put it out"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"What key do you need to open a banana? A monkey"

"If you find me passed out in Austin this weekend with a penis drawn on my face at least have the decency to not tag me in the facebook pic."