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Joke of the Day

"My protractor wanted to know what my plans were for this weekend Not sure what his angle is"

"[dating game] GIRL: contestant #1 tell me how u would woo me ME: woo like in duck tales woo woo or a different type of woo? G: contestant #2"

"What did the vampire lizard say to his next victim? Iguana suck your blood!"

"Why can't you see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"Advertisers: you can stop using ""it will change your life"" as a selling point. Cocaine, unemployment, and AIDS will also change your life."

"Very Funny Comedy @ My Church Night Vigil"

"This guy said,""I can predict what's going to happen to your nose."" I thought,""Crikey! It's Nostril-damus!'"

"Two chickens were chatting around the coop. ""That big rooster next door made a pass at me!"" one exclaimed. ""Really? Did you provoke him?"" ""Well, I egged him on a little."""

"I was once told there was nothing positive about the Bubonic Plague I think Malthus would disagree."

"I have been trying to lose weight so I've been keeping my junk food in the basement. This makes it cellary."