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Joke of the Day

"""When I saw you driving down the road I guessed 55 at least."" ""You're wrong officer it's only my hat that makes me look that old."""

Next Joke
 
"The most annoying thing about being a necrophiliac... Is that your girlfriend never returns your calls."
"I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos."
"""Babe I'm ready for bed"" ""Why so early its the weekend?"" [background] ""Next up Channel 6 News reveals Ashley Madison's local business men"""
"Hitler did nothing wrong ...... with his art, in my opinion."
"Look, if you need a heimlich, just ask me nicely, enough of this flapping your arms and making faces shit."
"Who would steal an artificial leg? I'm stumped."
"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."
"What is President Clinton's favourite game? Swallow the leader."
"Dubai knows how to end the year with a BANG! I'm talking about the fireworks display guys."