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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a cow jumps over a barb wire fence? Udder destruction"

"Wife walked in on me... Fucking our daughter. I don't know what she was more shocked about me fucking my daughter or the hospital allowing me to being home a still born"

"why did the native family starve? Somebody hid the welfare cheque in a work boot."

"What's the difference between a joke and a religion? Jokes are rarely offered as an excuse for civilised people to kill other people."

"How do you know if someone's a pilot? because they'll fucking tell you."

"Death is coming to take a lawyer away The lawyer is weeping, ""why now? I am only fourty!"" Death replies, ""not according to the hours you billed your clients""."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, I have that vinyl at home."

"The police came to my house earlier and said my dog had chased someone on a bike... I said, ""You must be joking, officer. My dog doesn't have a bike!"""

"What happened to the number 10? It got stuck in 9/11"

"You people from the internet freak me the fuck out."