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Joke of the Day

"The existence of Hogwarts has never been proven false..."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs."

"in kindergarden i pooped my pants and got insanely mad when another kid asked me about it, and that's also the president's PR strategy"

"Shall I tell you the joke about the kidnappers? I'd better not. You might get carried away."

"What do you call someone whose filed bankruptcy 4 times and divorced twice? A GOP Presidential candidate."

"I climbed on a tree with a suitcase. My aim is to become a branch manager."

"Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens. Me: Literally me."

"Weird, it almost feels like the drive thru workers at McDonald's are being more judgemental of my choices than I am of theirs."

"What's a pirates favorite thing to eat? The booty."