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Joke of the Day

"So an interviewer asked me a question.. A: Your greatest weakness? B: Interpreting semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmaticsA: Could you give an example?B: Yes, I could"

"Why is Sia not in her music videos? Because she doesn't want anyone to Sia"

"A Termite Walks Into A Bar and Asks, ""Is the Bar Tender Here?"""

"I like my woman like I like my coffee... Smuggled in a sack from Colombia"

"A doctor reaches into his pocket and finds his rectal thermometer He says ""Shit, some asshole took my pen!"""

"I feel a weird sense of pride when I'm so drunk that autocorrect just gives up."

"What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb? If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner."

"I'm Sorry Miss Jackson I'm sorry miss jackson I am four eels Never meant to make your daughter cry I am several fish and not a guy"

"Why is santa so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. Why am I so jolly? I stole his list."

"What do gay horses eat? Hayyyy"