19313

Joke of the Day

"free space program idea: when you bring a spaceship back to earth land it on a huge seesaw and launch another ship off the other side"

"Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He saw what happened to the zebra."

"What did the SS officer say after having his eye shot out? I can nazi."

"I witnessed a murder today.. then I realized it was just a group of crows."

"I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That shit's totally different."

"A guy walks into a bar and orders an Ovechkin... (Hockey joke) The bartender looks confused and asks ""What the hell is an Ovechkin?"" The guy says ""It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"""

"I had a parrot that talked . . . but it never said, ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"The only time I'm like ""maybe god is real"" is when I'm eating really really good nachos."

"Policeman: Are you going to a fire? Motorist: No I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again."

"What's green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."