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Joke of the Day

"The only time I'm like ""maybe god is real"" is when I'm eating really really good nachos."

"I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD. I peed"

"What does the sun and cleavage have in common? You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses."

"Why do potheads only steal from other potheads? Otherwise there's nothing worth toking."

"If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit."

"Match dot com, but for socks."

"What has 4308 eyes, 28957 legs, and 398503 teeth? I don't know, but if you see it, RUN!"

"Doctor: I have some bad news. You HAVE to stop masturbating. Man: OMG Doc, WHY? Doctor: I'm trying to examine you."

"Listening to my coworker cry about her gag reflex not being able to swallow her allergy pills.. All I keep thinking is: Her poor boyfriend.."

"Q: You are traveling into the past, what one thing would you bring back? SEXY. I am so getting an A on this History paper."