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Joke of the Day
"Study indicates Percussion as cause of Hard Drive failure. Whacked Drives Shatter..."
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"How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days."
"Why did 2Pac go to the gym? To get a 6Pac! -7th grade me"
"Date like a boyscout Leave em better than you found em."
"I'm offended every time I talk to a stranger and I'm not offered candy."
"- grabs leash - grabs phone - takes dog out for walk - pulls out phone - checks Twitter - walks dog to South America"
"The voice actor for The Count on Sesame Street passed away this year... I guess his number was up."
"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""
"A Roman walks into a bar... ...holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers please""."
"[describing a chair] it's like a swing without all the drama"