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Joke of the Day

"At least cunts are useful you're not."

"Whats my knee's favourite channel? Dis-knee channel."

"Me: let's go this way. Shopping cart: no."

"Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face."

"What is the similarity between women and square roots? If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head."

"Jesus wakes up one day to find only 11 Disciples with him. ""Who unfollowed me?"""

"What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers."

"What do you call a one-eyed sailor? Pop-eye the sailor man!"

"Why don't you give a college kid fried chicken? Because their too hopped up on crack and politics to have an appetite."

"[date] Date: I thought your Tinder profile said you were a gym owner Me *eating a hotdog and scanning for Pokemon*: yes that's correct"