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Joke of the Day
"Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face."
Next Joke
 
"How do you cure a Polish heroin addict? Give him a plastic spoon"
"You wanna read a joke? My internet points"
"What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute"
"I hate when I think there's an open parking space and then I have to run over a motorcycle."
"For lack of a better word... Buy a thesaurus"
"They say I have a drinking problem. All I have been trying to do is drain the liquor down the toilet. Through my body."
"I've slowly replaced sex with food... and now I can't even get into my own pants."
"Man, speaking (in heavy Scottish accent) to policeman, ""But, officer, it said laddies on the door."""
"""Dave's coming for dinner tonight."" ""Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?"" [from outside] ""...hakuna banana."""