53405

Joke of the Day

"What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers."

"So if he didn't invent the internet... then why does everything in it run on ""Al Gore rhythms""?"

"Why did the man break the clock? He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands."

"Past employers have described me as ""selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."""

"I went to the zoo today, but it only had one animal! It was a Shitzu ... I'll see myself out edit: apparantly this is another common repost which I have never seen. Oh well, I like it."

"Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back."

"Neighbors having their yearly Xmas party. Not invited again. So don't tell me the screaming drunken outdoor fights don't pay off."

"Show me on this doll where the bad man gave you a skewed perspective of a female body"

"Demi Lovato is my favorite singer that is half human, half Lovato."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who had an out of body experience? He starved to death."