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Joke of the Day

"Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies"

"Your inspirational tweets were so inspiring they inspired me to unfollow you."

"Adolf Hitler once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place The Germans replied ""No, it's hail Hitler"""

"Whenever I confront the messy baker I'm always walking on eggshells."

"Therapist: what's your problem today? Me: I have this constant eye roll. Therapist: stop reading your own tweets."

"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"My new year's resolution is to stop using spray deodorant. Roll on 2015!"

"Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !"

"I was in McDonald's today.. I smiled at the bloke and said ""Can I have a small shake please?"" ""Fuck off"" came the reply as he quickly zipped his up jeans and walked away from the urinal."