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Joke of the Day

"Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars."

"(True story) So my friend saw me browsing this subreddit and he said... ""Is this a subreddit for really bad jokes?"""

"Hate it when pharmacy girls ask if I've ""Used this product before?"" Darling I've applied, swallowed & inserted every item ever sold here."

"What is a Latino gang member's favorite type of exam? Essay"

"If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut."

"I tried telling a pun to a group of kleptomaniacs.. ..but they kept taking things literally"

"What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria? Make way, children."

"I was pretty shocked when my dad came out of the closet. Now I can only wonder if my other dad knows."

"""WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE MY IPHONE"" - new thing I scream at my kids"

"If I burn my mouth on ONE MORE FUCKING PIZZA I will probably continue to buy and eat pizza for the rest of my life."