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Joke of the Day

"If I burn my mouth on ONE MORE FUCKING PIZZA I will probably continue to buy and eat pizza for the rest of my life."

"I found a shop that sells clothing made of brick. It's a hardware store."

"How Do You Create Artificial Intelligence? Dye a blonde's hair."

"I just invented this new word! Plagiarism."

"If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic"

"What's Snoop Dogg's favourite chocolate bar? Sniggas."

"I'm white, but not ""tell people that life is beautiful"" white."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I didn't pay 50 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on me."

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"I'm looking for a book on lack of empathy', I asked the librarian. Do I look like I give a fcuk?', he snapped. ""Yes, that's the one', I said."