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Joke of the Day

"Circumcisions are painful. When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year"

"The two minutes silence in Tesco was so well-observed you could hear a pin drop. Then my poppy fell off too."

"Most irons aren't made from iron, which ironically is both ironic and unironic."

"Gymnasts used to look tiny and cute, now they look like they'll kick your @ss in a bar fight."

"You know what makes a lot of sense? A dollar"

"My ultra-cheesy pick up line, based on old Pepe Le Pew cartoons Le meooooww.... Le Purrrrrrrr... Le me?"

"[breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron] ""Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."""

"What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity? Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or ""That'll do pig, that'll do."" I have heard it both ways."

"Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet."

"How do you make a dead baby float? Easy! Just add Root beer and Ice Cream!"