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Joke of the Day

"If I'm lying but not wearing pants, what catches fire?"

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"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can always unscrew a light bulb."
"What to do with a child soldier lower your aim. someone i met who is in the army told me this is what his sergeant told them, he didnt intend it as a joke."
"Hey Seattle, wanna win the Superbowl? ""No thanks, we'll pass"""
"What medicine would you give an ill ant ? Antibiotics !"
"Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent"
"Where do boxers punch each other the most? In the ring."
"No lie: When the plane landed I had 9 texts and my 13yr old had 343."
"As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long."
"Son: Mom, when I will grow up enough to get out of the house without asking you? Mom: Son, your dad has not grown up as much yet."