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Joke of the Day

"Son: Mom, when I will grow up enough to get out of the house without asking you? Mom: Son, your dad has not grown up as much yet."

"I used to be an adventurer like you... But then I took an arrow to the knee."

"What's big and round and full of seamen? Your mom"

"That uncomfortable feeling when... You're at the doctors office getting your prostate checked and notice both of the doctor's hands on the table next to yours."

"The difference between running and jogging is that runners compete in races and joggers find dead bodies on Law and Order"

"Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand."

"How do make a Kia twice as valuable? Fill up the tank"

"I'm trying to give up using innuendo in my jokes. But it's hard...really hard."

"How can you tell your roommate is gay? You can taste shit on his dick."

"Door-to-door Christian guy: Jesus loves you. Me: Really? Just me? Him: Well, no. He loves everyone. Me: I don't have time for players."