19251

Joke of the Day

"My friend Eric is having some real issues and shit is real bad for him... He's constipated"

"A baby was born with no eyes lids... So the doctors decided to circumcise him and use the skin to craft new eyes lids. They botched it though and he came out looking a bit cock-eyed."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool."

"Was watching family feud, I don't think The announcer was N'SYNC"

"""Thanks for the clarification."" ~ Melted butter"

"You should ask her if she gained weight. That way she knows you're paying attention to her."

"Imagine if our butt crack was horizontal There would be a clapping sound everytime we go up the stairs"

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they're smart, they'll keep going."

"Mathematically speaking.. The average person is mean. :-)"

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me while he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it."