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Joke of the Day

"Kanye said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an athlete that rarely moves."

"In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don't think I can keep watching movies"

"How many Nazis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?? One. He makes three Polacks do it at gunpoint."

"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe..."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly a dick up a butt."

"When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. That says everything about marriage."

"What's Captain Picard's favorite game system? N-Gage"

"Why was the sapling such a horrible entrepreneur? Because he couldn't branch out."

"Why did David Schwimmer need ear drops? He had Schwimmer's ear."

"We're supposed to lose all the trees by 2020 but if we work hard, we can make it by 2018."