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Joke of the Day

"Why Beyonce? Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..."

"What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)"

"Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person's confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it."

"[Playing spin the bottle] ""Ok so Fred has to kiss..."" [Bottle spins out of control, goes back in time & lands at the last supper] ""...Jesus"""

"An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride"

"[job interview] Look. First, you give me a job. Then I get paid. THEN I'll be able to buy pants. I can't just skip ahead to the last step."

"How bad is my career? I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought ""Wow this guy has it made"""

"I'd like to hear Tony the Tiger's opinion on other products before he tells me how great his cereal is."

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."

"I recently bought some Koi from Malaysia... That's one flight that made it."