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Joke of the Day

"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they literally cannot EVEN right now, ugh!"

"I thought I had Tinnitus but the doctor said it was all in my head."

"What is a sure way to get a girl at a bar? Order a Cosbypolitan cocktail"

"Back in my day, I used to have to walk 4 miles to the nearest store. Because I had too many DUIs."

"How do you make a space party? -You PLANet"

"Feeling extremely smug after being the best at pulling over to let an ambulance pass"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar and a table. And some chairs."

"I went to the Middle East with some marijuana... ... and I got stoned! ###AMIRITE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!^imsosorry"

"""Size DOES matter"", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos."

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently it's called kidnapping"