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Joke of the Day
"Back in my day, I used to have to walk 4 miles to the nearest store. Because I had too many DUIs."
Next Joke
"I was going to tell a joke about Donald Trump's presidential campaign.. but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense."
"Dear Alcohol We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."
"Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)"
"What Were Mussolini's Secret Police Called? The Gazpacho"
"Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast] Him: How did you get in my house?"
"The bartender said we don't serve time travellers... Two time travellers walk into a bar"
"My daughter has reached that age... My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, ""Is that the best you can do?"""
"To this day, no song pumps me up as much as the theme from 'Bill Nye the Science Guy.'"
"Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I avoid telling Titanic jokes because they're terrible at breaking the ice."